Okay, I normally don’t ever go on this thing, because, frankly, I believed talking to another human being was more therapeutic and more beneficial towards my needs. Unfortunately, today has taught me that you really cannot rely on anyone else but yourself and God. To have literally no one to talk to or vent to is quite the enlightenment. I read somewhere today that every relationship you belong to, no matter what the nature of the connection is, requires some sort of investment from you - whether it be time or energy.
I realize now that my time and my energy is one fucking precious commodity. Why should I invest my emotions (which hardly ever escape, making these scenarios all the more frustrating), my time, my energy to people who won’t do the same? “Friends” have become “were friends.” People I could turn to in any instant, have now become foreign and unknown. What kind of friend just stops talking to you? What kind of person just throws you away? Without even so much as a “How do you do?” and poof - they’re gone? If you’re going to let your triflin’ significant separate us, then as far as I’m concerned, we were never really friends.
I’LL BE FUCKING DAMNED IF I LET ANOTHER PIECE OF SHIT THROW ME AWAY. So, let me beat you to it and-…
I don’t know what it was about today, about this summer, but I just realized I’m starting to lose myself here in the City of Roses. I’m becoming soft. A pushover, if you will. I think I’m starting to lose my…
“I’m tired of these things. I’m tired of these scars.
I think Ima get me a drink, I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“I don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for my girlfriends!” Sike. It’s not like I have anything against girls, but, for right now, it seems that the only people I can really trust happen to be of the same gender that is currently f-cking me over.
I am so happy I can be completely myself with them. As open as I am to them, they respond right back. NO RESERVATIONS. Thank goodness for that middle ground. To have such a close relationship with another man without having had to compromise your heart or your feelings is SUCH a good thing.
